Say that you love me
by ai no honou
Summary: This fic used to be called" Mello's true feelings" but i like this title better.  When Mello rediscovers his forgotten feelings for Matt, he is forced to suffer the difficulties of romance.
1. Denial

Disclamer: I do not own Death note or any of these characters. (But if I did...he he he...)

* * *

**Denial**

_No way! _Mello thought to himself. _There's no way that this is happening. Its just a coincidence that he seems so fuckin' cute. Its his fault._Mello was freaking out, denying the fact that Matt had been seeming super cute lately. Mello knew that seeing someone as cute, like he saw the gamer, meant love. But the chocoholic refused to believe that he was crushing on the redhead. But now that he thought about it he did kinda like him back at Wammy's... _No! Iwas just young I didn't know anything then. I was just a kid. So that doesn't count._

The chocoholic walked out into the living room of their shared apartment. _Why are we even living together anyway?_The blond finally realized. _If I weren't living with him, I wouldn't this fuckin' problem! I could've been living with some hot chick instead._

In the living room Mello found Matt tapping away at his game controller, and sitting just inches away from the TV screen.

"God damnit! Matt! turn the lights on, its bad for your eyes to be starring at the screen in this darkness." Mello nagged.

'Your being unusually caring today." The young gamer commented, not looking up from his game.

Mello walked over to the light switch, and turned the light on. Next he walked over to Matt...

"At least put your goggles on if your gonna be playing in the dark." Mello said playfully snapping the orange tinted goggles over Matt's eyes.

"Ow! Waddya do that for? You just turned the lights on!" Matt whinnied.

"Just keep them on! God damnit" Mello ordered the younger boy, as always. He did not want to see the cuteness in Matt's eyes. Mello had once heard that the goggles hid the gamer's attractiveness, but was finding that it was not working. "Fukin' liars." Mello grumbled.

Matt had obediently kept his goggles on, and even though Mello could not see the gameoholic's incredibly cute eyes, the goggles made Matt look even hotter.

"What?" Mello said, noticing that Matt had turned around and was now facing him. Mello was not sure, because of the goggles, but it seem as though Matt was glaring at him.

"You made me lose my game." Matt complained.

"Wha?"

"When you put my goggles on me, it distracted me. And that made me lose, bumbass." Matt explained, frowning.

"Then just take them off and try again, idiot." Mello growled.

"But you said to keep them on." Mello was finding this stubbornness of Matt's very attractive. He quickly shook his head to clear it of the thought out of his head.

Mello walked over to the redhead once more, and lifted the goggles off him. He had been right, Matt was glaring at him with his adorable green eyes.

"There, happy? Now go play your stupid game"

Matt frowned but his eyes showed a gleam of humorous pleasure.

The older boy walked over to the kitchen, in search of a chocolate bar, while trying to ignore the look on Matt's face.

"Yo Matt!" Mello called out when he couldn't find his chocolate. " Waddya do with my chocolates? You didn't eat 'em all did you?"

Matt shrugged "Iunno, I ate one but there should still be some left." He called back.

"I can't find them, where'd you put them?" Mello demanded.

Mello was finding himself in a crises and he had no chocolate to calm himself down.

"Just go buy some more." Matt suggested.

"You're the one who ate my chocolates, why don't you go buy them, ass." Mello spat "And why did you did you eat them anyway."

"Iunno" Was the only response. After that there was just a long moment of silence, for neither boy knew what to say next.

Mello opened the last cupboard they had in there kitchen, where he found the chocolate bar all lumped up in a pile.

"Found 'em. Why'd you put them in here?" The blond demanded.

"Cause I thought it would piss you off. Mission accomplished." Matt joked.

Mello found himself blushing, embarrassed at how easily Matt had tricked him, and he quickly shook it off. He finllay had his chocolate and he could now calm down. He grabbed 3 chocolate bars, one for each hand, and another to put in his mouth. He walked back into the living room and planted himself on the couch, Matt had gotten back to his game.

Neither boy said anything, they just sat in the silence minding their own businesses.

* * *

Hey ya I know i promised that i would have the next chapter up soon, but i just haven't had the time on the computer.

But i did write the next 5 or so chapters during class so ya...

ill try to get them up over the winter break.

~AI-chan


	2. Acceptance

Once again Mello awoke on the floor. This was the third time this week. He had had another dream about Matt.

_What the fuck was that?_ Mello had had a dream of him and Matt making out on the a patio by the beach with the sunset in the backround. _Why do I keep dreaming about that fuckin' bitch? _Mello rolled off his bed and slowly made his way to where the redhead was sleeping.

"'k I'll take a look at him and I wont feel anything for him." Mello mumbled under his breath in a determin tone, making sure that he would not wake Matt up and have him hear everything he is saying.

_I will not think he's cute. I will not think he's cute. I will not think he's cute. _Mello repeated over and over in his head as he approched the younger boy.

Mello reached out to pull the covers off Matt revealing his sleeping face. But to the blond's was not asleep. His eyes opened and looked up st the chocoholic .

"What are you doing?" Matt asked.

"Umm... well... Iwas just..." Mello stammered.

"You were just..." Matt echoed, waiting for the blond to continue explaining.

"I was just ... um... I was just making sure that you didn't run off in the night, and left a pile of pillows and stuff under the covers in your place." Mello replyed finally thinking up a reason.

"Oh really?" MAtt said in disbeleife. "And you care if I run off becuase..."

"B-because if you weren't here I- I'd have no one to do the chores, or go buy me chocolate." Mello stammered.

"But you've never done this before, so why start now? Do you really beieve that I would bother to miss out on sleep just to escape? Don't you think that if I were to do that, I would have done it a long time ago? What reason would I have to leave here anyway?"Matt continuosly pelted Mello with question. And seemed to be enjoying the sight of his best friend suffer, trying to come up with answers to them.

"I...I...Umm...I..." Mello was at a loss for words. He slowly Backed out of the room and exited without another sound.

Matt's inocent small smile formed it's self into a large devious grin. In a matter of seconds Matt burst out laughing. "I think I might tease him alittle more" Matt said to himself enjoying this moment. But of course Mello did not hearanything, he was too lost in his toughts.

_Why is he bing to fuckn' nosy? _Mello now blushing a light shade of pink. (Pacially from frustration.) _How am I supposed to tell him "I did it to make sure that I don't think that you're so god damn cute" That would make me seem crazy, and he'll leave me for real._ Mello stopped inhis tracks. Realizing that he did not want the gammer to leavve his side. And that Matt _had_ been adorable just now.

Mello finally admited to himself that he enjoyed having the compayed of his roommate.

Mello walked over to the kitchen in search of a chocolate bar to help him calm.

He grabbed a large one out of the cupbords and quickly unwraped it. As he went to take a bite an arm wraped it's self around his waist, holing him down. The chocolate bar was snatched out of his hand just inches before he could take the bite.

"It's not healthy to be eating chocolate this early in the morning." came Matt's voice from behind.

"Damit, bitch! give it back!" Mello growled, trying to jump up and grab the bar of chocolate, being dangled teasingly above his head.

"NO. It's not healthy , go eat some cereal or something."

"Fine!" The chocoholic grumbled. "Just give it back!" Mello squirmed visiousley, wave\ing his hands around trying to reach the chocolate bar.

Mello, finaly freeing himself,turned to jump the redhead gamer for the chocolate. The two boys ffell to the floor with a _thud_. Mello got up, off being flat on top of Matt, and found him self in a mount position. He looked at the younger boy under him. Matt was blushing a light red, but Mello was already completely red.

"G-give it back" Mello grabbed the chocolate bar from the hand, that lay on the floor next to its owner's head, and quickly shuffled off him. Curling up in the corner chomping on the gaint bar of chocolate.

Matt slowly awoke from his laying position,but remained sitting on the floor. He stared at the blond for a bit. Then he got up and set up two bowls of cereal.

Matt walked over to the blond, smiled, and once again he swiped the remainder of the chocolate bar from his roomate, and shoved one of the bowls into the older boy's face to replace it.

Mello glared at the thief who stole his chocolate for the second time. Matt just stood there, hoping Mello would not beast the shit out of him, still smiling. Holding the cereal out, waiting for the blond to take it.

_Damn! Why are you so fuckn' cute?_ Mello restrained from saying out loud. _I can't beleive it but I'm totaly in love with the bitch. _Mello finally accepted the thought, taking the bowl of cereal.


	3. Test

**Hey sorry, i posted the wrong chpt and i only realized that this morning. **

**so ya heres the right chpt. hope u enjoy ^-^**

* * *

Mello layed awake in his bed. He was still in shock from what he had admited to himself the other day. It was about two in the morning. Mello rolled over onto his stomach and faced the redhead sleeping in the other bed that was placed next to his own.

The curtians hwere slightly open, just enough to allow the moon light to poor in through the window. The light shawan on Matt perfectly outlining the thin body, making it seem as though he was glowing.

Mello watcd Matt sleep, with a loving gaze. "He's so cute." Mello mumbled to himself. Jusat then Matt rolled onver asd was facing the blonde. And his eyes slowly opened.

"Morning, Mels." Matt's voice startled Mello. The blonde jumped on his bed and almost fell off the side.

_Oh shit! Fuck! I hope he didn't hear what I just said. _Mello paniced

"I-it's two in the morning, b-bitch." Mello stammered, hopiong that matt wouldn't notice anything wrong with it. "you don't say good morning this early, moron!"

"As insultive as ever, I see." was all Matt said.

Mello blushed and hid under the covers. "Good night!"

But Mello was not going to sleep...and neither was Matt.

The two boys layed in their beds in the silent darkness for a while.

_I need to know if he'll like me back. _Mello thought making sure that he wasn't saying this out loud.

He looked over at Matt again."Yo Matt!" He yelled accross the room. "Go get me something to eat."

Matt slowly got up to follow the blonde'd orders. A few minutes later he returned with a peice of toast, with nutella on it.

"There, happy? I even incorperated chocolate into it." Matt said sarcasticly to the chocoholic.

"Incorperated? Scince when do you use 'big' words like that?" Mello replied with his own sarcasim.

He took the toast and began to eat. Matt watched as the chocolate lover just licked allthe nutella off the toast and throw the rest aside.

"Get me some chocolate milk." Mello ordered next. _I wonder how ong he'll keep this up. This can be his first test, to see if he might like me back. _Mello decided to himself.

Matt had passed this test, for (as always) he followed every one of Mello's comands like a puppy.

* * *

Both boys were now doing their own thing. Mello was on the computer setting up for the next test. He was looking up something on to test Matt's oppinion on it.

He found an Light x L fic, and decided to show it to Matt to test wether he was straight or gay.

"Hey Matt, check this out." Mello called.

Matt walked into the room. He had been in the kitchen preparing for lunch.

_Man, he looks so frickn' hot in that approne._

"What?"

"Look at what I found online."

It only took a matter of seconds for the redhead to read the fic.

"Can you believe L and Light actually doing that?" Mello asked.

"Well there are people out there who actually do do the, I guess. But those two? I dought it. But I do think they make a cute couple." Matt replied.

"You know who else would make a cute couple?" Mello hinted, slightly leaning towards the gamer.

Matt, as oblivious as ever, said "Um... I think Near and that other kid from Wammy's would go cute together."

_Oh Matty... _Mello thought. _Oh well, I don't know how he feels but I do know that he isn't homophobic._

Mello decided to try pushing this test further. "Het, why have you only been metioning boy x boy couples?"

"Well because, thats what you showed me." Matt replied."And besides ita all normal to me because I'm gay too."


	4. Confession

_What am i supposed to do now? _Mello paced back and forth in thier room.

"Hey Mels?" Matt's voice came from the doorway.

"yaMatt? Mello said calmly, trying to hide any signs in his voice that Matt had startled him.

"I'm bored, let's go somehwere." Matt replied.

"Where do you wanna go?" Mello asked, slightly curious to hear what Matt had to say.

"The amusment park" Matt said exitedly.

Mello stared at the enthusiastic looking gamer standing in the doorway.

"Fine, but I get to pick the first ride." Mello said.

"Yay! Lets go! Lets go! Lets go! Lets go!" Matt grabbed Mello's hand and pulled him out of their shared appartment. Mello flushed at the contact of their linked hands.

* * *

"We're here! What do you wanna go on first?" Matt asked impatiently, but keping his promise.

"Um... Let's go on that!" Mello pointed to a tea cup ride. "Or that" Mello sujested moving his gaze over to the marry-go-round. Mello was Only sujesting the simpler rides that they could sit close and talk on... maybe even end up cuddling. Melo reddened at this though.

They had a tunnle of love too, but it was too soon to sujest that. It could freak the youger boy out.

"Okay let's go!" Matt dragged the blonde to the tea cup ride, still holdding hands.

The line for the ride was suprisingley short. They picked a tea cup and sat inside. Mello sat down first and was suprised when, instead of sitting accross from him, Matt sat down right next to him. THe two boys were sitting so close to eachother, their shoulders were touching. But neither of them made any motion to move apart.

Soon after, they were getting onto the merry-go-round.

Mello walked toward a horse near by but Matt grabbed himby the hand again, and sat him down in one of the cariges. They were once again sitting side by side. But this time Mello decided to test Matt on how he felt about cuddling. THe blonde sank down in his seat and rested his head on the striped shoulder.

"You smell of cigarets." Mello complained. He angled his head so he could see Matt's face but his head remainded on the readhead's shoulder.

"If you keep smoking you'll die early" Mello continued. "You should really quit"

Matt smiled down at the older boy, still leaning on him. "i'll quit after die" he joked.

"That's not funny. I'm serious! You could die next week, or even tomorrow. What if you died on our way home today?" Mello insisted.

"I'm not sick or anything, I'll be fine for a while. As long as _you_ don't kill me I'll live long enough to see you get married." Matt chuckled.

"Who would i get married to? I'm not even dating anyone right now." Mello said.

"Knowing you, I'm sure you'll find someone soon enough." Matt turned his gaze away from Mello.

At that moment the ride stopped, and everyone had to get off.

"What should we do now?" Mello asked, hopping Matt did not say "the fastest ride they have here". Matt loved fast rides, and always wanted to go on all these scary ones, but Mello hated them... elspecialy now that he was so close.

"Um... I'm kinda hungry." Matt said.

Mello was revleived. Not only had Matt not sujested a fast ride, but Mello was starving. He had not eatten anything all day.

" K l'ets go grab a bite then." Mello headed for a burger place, and Matt skirried after the him.

"Hey...guess...what" Matt said between bites of his double cheese burger.

"What?" Mello said sipping his soda.

"This is the longest time you've gone without swearing." Matt pointed out.

"So what?"

"I'm just suprised that the great mafia leader could go half a day without swearing , or trying to kill someone." Matt smiled waiting for a response.

"F-fuck you! I can so go a full dsy without swearingor killing someone." Mello prosested.

"Really? 'Cause you just swore" Matt said Matt said in a teasing tone.

Mello blushed and mumbled "Bitch" Under his breath, but it was unintetionaly lound enough fro Matt to hear him.

"And again" Matt said.

Pissed off, Mello grabbed the gamer by the collar of his shirt and threatened to punch him - hard.

"And there you go trying to kill someone. Matt smilled, regardless of the deathy position he was in.

Mello dropped Matt at a lame atempt tp prove himself right.

* * *

"What do you wanna go on next?" Matt asked after throuing their garbage away.

"I think I have an idea." Mello said, "But you need to close your eyes, itst a surprise." Mello pulled out his hankerchife and wrapped it around Matt's hea, covering his eyes.

"What the - Whaere are you taking me?" Matt demanded.

"You'll see in a bit." Mello pulled his roommate accross the theme park.

"Ok, you can take that off now," he finaly said a while later, after they had gotten on a ride.

Matt took off the blind fold to find himself in a small boat that fit exactly two people. It was more like a strangelyshaped coneu. TH boat was headed into a cave in a huge rock. At the top of the entrace to the cave, there was a sign that read: Tunnel of love

Matt took a better look around him. He noticed that he was surrounded in heats.

"Um... Mels..."

"I love you." Mello cut him off mid scentence, blushing, but ffinaly ande to confess his feelings.

Matt's face instanly flushed with a rainbow of red shades. He looked as if he had been hangging upsidedown for the past hour. Both boys were so red in the face that they were worried that the other one would pass out.


	5. Answer

Mello lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling. He had been lying there all day.

The room was silent. He was the only one in the apparent. Matt had been

He was begging to get hungry; it was just about lunch time. But Mello could not bring himself to get out of bed.

Mello had finaly confessed his love to Matt, and he had not gotten back an answer yet. Matt had been acting like nothing had happened that day at the amusment park.

"Arrg! This is driving me crazy!" Mello yelled braking the silence in the empty room.

_Click_

Just then Mello heard the door open, and Matt anounce his return.

Mello forced himself out of bed, and walked to the doorway of their bedroom.

Matt looked over at Mello standing at the entrance to the bedroom. Matt instantly blushed st the sight of the blond. His pajamas seemed a size or two too big. (Actually they were too big. Mello thinks that if he buys them in a bigger size, they'll last longer and he wont have to waist money, which he could be buying chocolate with.) His longish blond hair slightly messy and falling all over his perfect face...

"Hey Matt." Came Mello's voice snapping the redhead back into reality.

"Uh- um... H-hi mello" Matt stutered, as he walked into the kitchen to put the groceries away.

"Mel-" Matt was cut off, noticing that the blond was now a lot closer to him than he expected. Their lips meeting, which is what Mello was intending to happen. The blond closed his eyes and slowly wrapped his hands around the gamers body. pulling his as close as he could.

Matt on the other hand was completly taken off gaurd. His eyes were wide open from shock at the sudden happening. But eventualy he was able to kind of make sense of what was happening.

Matt's eyes shut slowly as he returned the embrasse.

This time it was Mello's turn to be taken off gaurd, The last thing Mello expected now was to feel Matt's arms around his body. He expected more of a "What the fuck Mello!" and to be instantly pushed away. But he prefered this more.

Matt parted his lips alightly in atempt to take a breath. Mello took that as a chance to slip his tounge into the redheads mouth. At the same time he slipped his hand under Matts shirt.

This time Matt did freak out. He pushed the blond away. Mello, not expecting this sudden push, fell to the floor.

"Holly shit! Sorry Mello" Matt said hesitantly reaching down to hepl Mello up, hoping Mello wasn't too mad.

"What was that for?" Mello demanded, taking Matt's hand, getting himself back to his feet.

"I-I don't know. It was like a reflex. You just... you...you just...just..." Matt couldn't finish his sentace.

"I kissed you." Mello finish it for him, with a inocent smile.

Matt blushed. Hia face bright red, right up to the tips of his ears.

"Hey Matt..." Mello started.

"Uh... um... ya?"

"Remember what I told you when we went to that amusment park?"

"Um... Maybe..." Matt blushed harder. Mello smirked seeing that the gamer knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Well then" Mello took a deep breath. "What do you say?"

There was a moment of silence, which felt like an eternity to Mello, while Matt thought of how to word his answer.

"Um... well..." Matt looked up Mello.

"Yeah?" Mello waited for him to continue. Matt looked into Mello'seyes for a short moment then quickly looked away.

"I-I love you too."


	6. If you love someone, let them go

**HAIII! Here's the next chpt. not quite my fav, but ya... it'll get better dw.**

**Enjoy ^-^**

**~AI-chan**

* * *

"Matt, pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaassseeeee!" Mello pled.

"Why? I've already said it five times since we woke up this morning." Matt complained.

"Please Matt, just one more time?" Mello clung onto Matt's arm, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes, begging the redhead to say it just once more.

Matt sighed. "Fine" putting his hands on Mello's shoulders and looking right into his eyes, Matt said "I love you."

Mello smiled enthusiastically. "Really?"

"No. I really don't." Matt said sarcastically, and then placed his lips on Mello's.

Mello pulled away, "That wasn't funny."

Matt smiled. "Sure it was." Matt kissed Mello again. But the blond pulled away this time too.

"Well you could at least apologize."

"I'm sorry." Matt said trying to kiss his new lover. But once again, Mello pushed him away.

"Like you mean it." Mello complained.

"God dam it Mello, just let me fuckin' kiss you!" Matt said, grabbing Mello by the waiste and pulling him in for the kiss. Mello tried to object again, but Matt was not going to let it happen this time. Mello finaly gave up, and wrapped his arms around the gamer's neck.

"Now do you believe that I love you?" Matt asked Mello.

"Nope." Mello smiled. "But I will if you go buy me some chocolate syrup."

Matt chuckled. "Why?"

"So I can lick it off a sexy bitch named Mail Jeevas." Mello grinned, bringing his lips near Matt's neck, miming a licking action.

Matt's face instantly flushed red, as he pushed chocoholic away. "What the fuck Mello! No way!"

"Aw, why not? You said you love me, so why can't I lick chocolate off your sexy little body? If you really love me, you should let me do it!" Mello stated.

"What kind of fuckin' psycho logic is that?" Matt backed away.

"My kind." Mello whispered into Matt's ear, Matt now pinned up against the wall.

"No Mello."

"Com'on"

"No!"

"Please!"

"I said no!" Matt said, beginning to raise his voice.

"Why not?" Mello demanded.

"Because I know you. You're gonna cover me in that stuff, get it all over everything in the apartment, and then when your satisfied, you're going to make me clean it all up."Matt explained.

"Will not!" Mello objected.

"Yes you will. I'll go buy you your chocolate syrup, but you're not licking anything off me."

Mello gave up and decided to move onto plan B. "Fine, then let's at least sleep together in one bed tonight."

"Are you planning on raping me or something? Cause everything you've been saying these past 10 minutes seem to be leading up to it." Matt said half-jokingly.

"Am not!" Mello protested. "I was planning on seducing you, and talking you into having sex with me." Mello said, pressing up against his boyfriend.

"That's basically the same thing!" Matt exclaimed, trying to push farther away, but unable to with his back already against the wall.

"I know." Mello pressed up against Matt's body, placing his lips on the redhead's neck. "But it's not rape, if we're both willing."

"Ah." Matt let out a weap as he ducked down and freed himself from between Mello and the wall. Mello watched in shock as Matt ran out the apartment door.

"I think I may have gone a little too far…" Mello said out loud as he stood by himself in the now empty apartment.

* * *

**Hope you liked it. I should have the next chpt up by next week.**

**~AI-chan**


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